She's Such a Liar

Blogger vs Tumblr in a Cage Match

2011-04-27T22:14:00.002-04:00

I work with these super double awesome tweens and they have FORCED me to start a tumblr. Same name and everything (I'm still full of shit), just a new way to spread my rants on the interwebs.

Love,
Liar

More of a Montage than a History

2011-03-16T19:28:00.001-04:00

A Brief History of Title Design from Ian Albinson on Vimeo.

Red Riding Hood

2011-03-10T21:48:00.003-05:00

I can't even REMEMBER why in the world I watched Catherine Hardwicke's first film Thirteen - it must have been during my early movie adventures and I'm sure I was all "Its independent, which obviously means its important." Oh how much I've learned.

Thirteen showed some promise, but Ms. Hardwicke followed it up with The Nativity Story and then the teen masterpiece Twilight. I've seen the latter twice (yep) cause I laughed so hard the first time I saw it I needed an encore. My film buddie Erik even made me a birthday card with Edward and Bella perched on a tree. The fact that he ran super fast with her on his back was enough to make me pee my pants.

Point being, who the fuck keeps giving this woman money? And can we briefly talk about the fact that she may be a pedifile? I'm not being super serious here but she keeps making movies about young girls that have sex with weird beings or young girls that just want to have sex period. I can totally identify with this (I was giving it away for free at fifteen only no one wanted it), but there are better movies out there, better ideas even, that deserve this money. Check out Fat Girl if you wanna see what I mean.

Dogtooth

2011-03-06T19:31:00.002-05:00

Change your life awesome.

Best movie I've seen this year.

Called everyone I know when I finished watching it.

Terrifying and amazing.

Red Riding

2011-03-04T19:51:00.004-05:00

Meh? There were some gorgeous shots, but I never really got sucked in. Is this a hipster thing? People I really like and respect thought the world of Red Riding: In the Year of Our Lord 1974. I mean, Andrew Garfield is hot an all but I wanted to make out with him more after watching Boy A.

Heartbeats

2011-02-28T21:41:00.012-05:00

For You

Pretty, touching, ridiculous and hilarious. Okay, not always hilarious but there are plenty of delightful moments that balance out the surprisingly sad and honest ones. Now that I've used every possible adjective, I think you should see it. If you're "into" film you'll like it, if you don't and just use movies to "escape" - yup you'll still like it. At the end of the day though its kind of a film for ladies and gays (can't imagine Tomasz or Ben being interested in it other than the fact its one giant homage to Truffaut and Goddard), so I guess this makes Heartbeats a date movie. Or a Miss Crystal party of one.

For Me

Enough with the slow mo! There's too much - but at the same time it signifies that the film is modern. French New Wave was too busy spazing about the jump cut to be bothered by excessive slow mo so I'll let Exavier Dolan get away this. Most of Heartbeats is spent recreating (although I hear Mr. Dolan denies this) our favorite movies from the past and in most cases I am infuriated and annoyed by this - I still can't justify the Fellini portion of I'm Not There - but all this recreation mixed with the story mixed with the soundtrack mixed with the cinematography makes this particular movie stand out. Not in the Oh Lord he's broken the mold kind of way - Mr. Dolan uses old methods to tell a modern story and I commend him for it. I liked the movie AND saw through it (its not even close to perfect) which usually says to me that the filmmaker is talented but still having fun and not taking himself too seriously. All I have to say is I can't wait to see his next film. Oh yea, and fuck the Oscars.

How to Talk to Me About Movies

2011-02-25T20:44:00.003-05:00

So New Yorkers have failed me yet again (not trying to start shit, just keepin it real). Today, while on the Oscar's website reminding myself what a bunch of nincompoops were nominated, I realized that The Fighter was directed by David O Russel, who I have loved since Three Kings. Haven't seen that one yet? Don't let Ice Cube fool you - its a good movie. People kept saying, "Oh Crystal, you have to see The Fighter. Oh Crystal, Christian Bale is amazing in it. Oh Crystal, they did so much research to keep the movie true to real life." Guess what y'all? I don't care about actors. (Well maybe a few, but Christian isn't one of them.) If you want me to see a movie, tell me who the goddamn director is.

Clockwork Orange Anyone?

2011-02-21T14:12:00.003-05:00

Only the first 50 seconds really. I've always been a little sore about the fact that college males age 18 to 21 were somehow able to claim A Clockwork Orange as their stoner manifesto. I think Clockwork is one of the better films of the seventies and that's coming from a woman who thinks Kubrick is a misogynist.

Pauline Kael about lost her mind when she saw it - glorifying violence and how this was the worst thing that could ever have happened to cinema. (What would she have said about Quentin Tarantino I wonder?) I, on the other hand, am a male viewer trapped inside a tiny white girl body, so this movie was a joy ride for me. The rest of this Lotus Flower hoo-ha? Not a joy ride.

Béla Tarr

2011-02-17T21:12:00.003-05:00

A little too self indulgent for my taste. Try watching this instead: Silent Night by Carlos Reygadas.

Janus Films

2011-02-15T17:55:00.004-05:00

Oops. Sorry. I meant Criterion, which is teaming up with Hulu. Wow. Double wow on this though. Thanks to Graydon Gordian, the newest edition to OR Books. We consider him awesome.

In the Future I Plan to Keep Better Notes

2011-02-06T20:27:00.004-05:00

Red Riding

The Wrong Guy

A Prophet (Thankfully I saw this one. Absolutely fantastic)

A list of movies I recently found hiding in my blackberry. Note to self: Good God woman put the name of the person you were talking to next to these things.

The Old Man and Me

2011-02-04T16:12:00.002-05:00

I broke out the typewriter and wrote Gordon Lish a letter this week. We're going to see Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives at Film Forum in March. And you should too.

What Movie Was That Again?

2011-01-30T19:53:00.005-05:00

Andree: What's that European boarder movie?

Me: Wait, tell me more. Boarder? As in snow?

Andree: No that one movie about eastern Europe. Its an action movie.

Me: District B13? Oh!!!!!! Eastern Promises!!

All I do is bully friends into seeing movies and three days later this is what our text messages look like. And by Eastern Europe she means Russia.

Tomasz and I watched this one in an empty theater that had a sofa for a front row. Which is where we sat and drank beer from the concession stand. Its worth seeing for the Turkish Bath scene, but that's about it. (Sorry y'all - I don't really care for Cronenburg. Still want to strangle Lisa Schwartzman for listing A History of Violence as the best movie of the year and dupping me into watching it. She's dead to me.)

This Is What Today Feels Like

2011-01-26T18:21:00.002-05:00

When We Leave

2011-01-24T12:23:00.002-05:00

I want to see this. Not playing in New York? What the heckburger...

Un, Deux, Trois

2011-01-21T17:08:00.003-05:00

Guess what these three movies have in common? You're going to have to watch them before I give it away.

The Green Hornet

2011-01-19T15:21:00.005-05:00

Michel Gondry directed The Green Hornet? That's it Michel. I'm erasing you. Meet me in Montauk.

Enter the Void

2011-01-17T13:42:00.006-05:00

For You

Please don't just waltz into this film and get pissed about how it doesn't make sense and is two hours too long. Enter the Void, ladies and gentlemen, is an art film. It's been a while since I've seen one (a modern one at least), and I'm torn between telling everyone to see it, or saving it for the people who will appreciate it. Maybe a pop quiz would be best:

Have you seen one or more of the following movies?

1. Antichrist

2. Cremaster (pick a number)

3. Blow Up

Now, these movies are in no way similar to Enter the Void (sorry, nothing like it exists), but they share a common trait when it comes to pace and structure. If you were able to make it through the above, you are a perfect candidate for this one. And kids, this isn't a date movie.

For Me

So glad I saw it and yes Chad, you were right. That was by far the best title sequence I have ever seen. Enter the Void is visually amazing - that it somehow justified out of focus shots and a completely non-linear sequence (in fact that's not even the right word for the structure of this film) made it all worth while. This movie was like going to the symphony - it pushes you to a point where you're just about ready to space the fuck out, then it pulls you back in with a jolt. I'm pretty sure I screamed a few times. Although I didn't really care for the sister character, I'm not so sure we're supposed to care about any of them, and today I just feel depressed in thinking that all human beings want to do is have sex and do drugs until we die. Oh, and now I never want to go to Tokyo.

I'm tempted to give more of an explanation of Enter the Void, but I think this would ruin the experience for all of you. Just go see it. We can fight about it later.

Miss Crystal Party of One

2011-01-13T15:38:00.006-05:00

Alright goofballs, enough dicking around. I'm going to brave the three hours of Enter the Void on Sunday. IFC Center first visit...

Sidenote: I saw Season of the Witch with Claire, Esther, and Chad on Monday. All I have to say is, "Time Rape." Really - it wasn't even bad in a good way like National Treasure or Van Helsing. Didn't really matter though cause the girls smuggled in awesome snacks and we giggled the whole way through.

Another Year

2011-01-07T13:42:00.003-05:00

Shira and I had dinner at her great aunt's last night on the upper west side and her hilarious uncle said to me, "So you're into film? Well then what movie should I see right now?" My answer was Another Year by Mike Leigh. Just trust me on this. I don't want to babble or make you look stupid for not knowing who he is.

Leptirica

2011-01-06T16:39:00.006-05:00

I'm on the hunt for this movie at the moment. Traditionally I'm strictly a New Yorker Magazine kind of gal, but OR Books now gets copies of Harper's and I snagged one to read on the train home. Leptirica kept the author hiding behind her couch (it's a vampire movie) so I'll either find out she's a wimp, or buy her next book. The future is in your hands Téa Obreht.

Untamed Heart

2011-01-05T13:09:00.005-05:00

Oh yea. This is happening. Shira's in town this week and we're gonna drink wine, watch a trashy romantic movie, and talk about our husbands. I mean lovers. Oh, nevermind. I've seen Untamed Heart before, but I was like thirteen and obsessed with Christian Slater at the time. I'm sure my second viewing will be a little (ahem) different. One more thing, what's the deal with this bitchin' movie poster? When I rented the thing the cover looked like this...

PS Marisa Tomei is one of the movie stars I've served San Pellegrino to at Antique Garage.

Fish Tank

2011-01-04T10:42:00.006-05:00

I was really struggling to remember what my favorite film was in 2010 - I've somehow managed to only see blockbusters since I moved to NY. (What gives?) Thankfully The New York Times reminded me that Fish Tank came out last January and I loved it. Tears. And I adore Michael Fassbender for playing such a douche bag.

Head-On

2011-01-03T11:56:00.005-05:00

Since I spent New Years Eve with Turskish friends, I thought it would be appropriate to re-post about my favorite Turkish Film Head-On. It's by far the most romantic, beautiful, depressing movie I've ever seen. Really - I was messed up for a few days after this one. Messed. Up.

Distant (also Turkisk) was recommended to me yesterday so I'm adding it my queue. Anyone seen it?

A Girl Cut in Two

2010-12-31T13:10:00.004-05:00

Very simple and extra French. I watched this one on my own and wasn't completely WOWed, but I enjoy French cinema in general and it was, as Tomasz likes to call it, "literary." This means that it was probably based on a novel, opera, or Shakespearean drama. In this case it was inspired by true events, although I think we all know what that means. I have a tendency to favor these movies not so much for the dialog but for the crazy plot twists all in the name of love or honor.

Baby Pigeon

2010-12-30T14:09:00.006-05:00

Like the rest of America, I was stuck in an airport this week, and as a friendly gesture Jet Blue let us watch the pay per view movie channels for free once we finally took off. Unfortunately Going the Distance was playing and in trying to force myself to watch it I got a nose bleed. (We all know how I feel about Drew Barrymore not to mention I'm in year THREE of a long distance relationship. Ick.) There was a character however that kept ranting on and on about how he never sees any baby pigeons in New York City and you know what, he's right. Where the hell are all the baby pigeons?

Moonstruck

2010-12-29T12:48:00.011-05:00

Joana and Jacob talked me into this one by hailing the Brooklyn scenery. Um, that's not really enough to get me through a romantic comedy. I guess I just thought the writing would be better, and Nicolas Cage would be as good as he was in Peggy Sue Got Married, and the costume design would be fun to revisit. Oh well. It did, however, make me want to eat spaghetti with meatballs and go on a date that involved candles.

Moonstruck is actually more of a play than a movie and if you liked it, or liked it when you were a kid and watching it on TBS, I would advise that you invite your sweetheart over on a Tuesday, order take out, and watch a Hal Hartly film. Trust is the best, but people tend to like Henry Fool better. These movies will feel a little strange at first, but once you make it to the 30 minute marker you'll be hooked.

Syriana

2010-12-26T09:17:00.013-05:00

Holy Hell I did it. I managed to get my parents to watch Syriana. On Christmas. You're Welcome.

The Public Library

2010-12-24T13:38:00.011-05:00

In preparation for my visit to Florida, Mom took a trip to the Public Library. She rented three movies; Desk Set, The Secret Life of Words, and A Pink Panther something or other. Letting your parents pick the movie is a great feeling, especially since I "make" them watch certain films every time we get together - this year it's Man on Wire.

Growing up, once a week, Mom and I would take a trip downtown walk up six flights of stairs, and grab whatever looked good from the video section. Believe it or not this is how I stumbled upon Star Wars and Indiana Jones. (My childhood soul sister Kim had gabbed on and on about Harrison Ford when we were ten, but I hadn't seen them yet.) I watched A New Hope about thirty times when I rented it since it didn't have to be returned for ten whole days. And it was free. God bless the Public Library.

Tron

2010-12-14T12:08:00.014-05:00

Jillian's coming to NYC for her twenty-first birthday this weekend. I'll probably drag her to this.

Remember the Real Winona?

2010-12-09T23:30:00.004-05:00

After seeing Winona Ryder in Black Swan the OR Ladies and I contemplated her best performances. Beetlejuice, Mermaids, anything from the eighties - but I had a nagging suspicion that I had seen her in something good. Something watchable. . .

So when I was waiting in line at Whole Foods, after picking up my five dollar chicken in the hopes that it would last me a few meals, saying to myself, "I really thought I'd be more sucessful than this at twenty-eight," it dawned on me. I'd heard that line before.

Lelaina: I was really gonna be something by the age of twenty-three.

Troy: Honey, all you have to be by the age of twenty-three. . . is yourself.

Winona Ryder was great in something - Reality Bites

Movie Videos & Movie Scenes at MOVIECLIPS.com

I miss my sweetheart.

Actor James Franco Puts on a Show. For Himself.

2010-12-09T13:07:00.006-05:00

James Franco Acting for the New York Times Magazine

My New Film Festival

2010-12-08T16:58:00.006-05:00

Anthony Lane just announced his "10 Films I liked in 2010" in The New Yorker. I'll be watching these over the Christmas break if anyone wants to join. Check it out here.

I See You Black Swan

2010-12-07T22:17:00.011-05:00

For You

Okay New York, this is the last time I'm falling for your mass opinion. I couldn't turn a corner, go to work, ride the subway, or look at facebook without people fawning (swaning?) over Natalie Portman. I was convinced I just had to see this right away. It was fun to watch in the theater (in fact I recommend it this way), but you can save this one for a matinee. I disagree with those that say it was creepy - it's a dramatic movie about crazy girls and yes, sometimes things get out of hand. Black Swan is outlandish and if you go in expecting this you'll be surprised but free of nightmares.

I saw Black Swan with a fellow dancer, and she just balled me out for not respecting Natalie Portman's performance. I'll agree to meet in the middle and say that as her role demanded - she was the perfect white swan, but the black one never quite convinced me. I still side with David Denby on this one in saying "Dance lovers will find it so over the top that they are likely to be amused." Which I was. And I think you will be too. Just don't expect the Red Shoes.

For Me

A script that is written by three people is bound to fall short. In fact, help me out on this one - what good movie has a screenplay that has been passed around more than twice? There must be one, although I'm sure it's a lark. You'll save yourself some heartache if you prepare for the terrible dialogue and agree to immerse yourself in spectacle. That's all I think Black Swan was at the end of the day. And by the end, when things really get going (for a whole fifteen minutes), it's the movie's only chance to save itself. Otherwise all the makeout scenes between Natalie and Mila would have to be followed by a cold shower.

I think this is the movie where I discovered Minhola Dargis' achilies heel. All critics have one (me included), and I guess this is one I can politely overlook. Ms. Dargis has been on a crusade for the loss of stellar female roles in the past decade (or at least the decline), and this is a movie about women, starring women, and made for women viewers. The last time that happened was Sex in the City, which doesn't do nearly as much for the "female role" as Black Swan does. I guess I just wish Aronofsky didn't pander to the male audience and turn it into a suspensfull thriller. Throw that to the wind and leave in a makeout scene? Now that's not only cinema - that's European.

(18 Theaters? That's crazy. What's more crazy is that out of eight cities they chose Plano, TX. Joana, what gives?)

What a Name

2010-12-06T12:14:00.013-05:00

Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck is the director of the new movie The Tourist - that train wreck of merger with Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. I desparately want to make fun of his name, but he's also the director of The Lives Of Others which I regard to be a "perfect" film.

(It won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film.) Please watch this one if you haven't already.

I'm curious to see what the critics have to say about The Tourist though, which opens Friday...

Black Swan

2010-11-07T20:20:00.012-05:00

I'm incredibly worried I'll like this movie more than it's worth due to fifteen years of ballet, my love of Vincent Cassel, and the need to be creeped out by cinema. At least I know I hate the movie poster. Someone please find this one for me.

Hey Ben, was it good?

The Social Network

2010-10-16T01:00:00.004-04:00

For You

Did you like "The West Wing?" Did your parents? How about "Dawson's Creek?" Point being - this is a dialog movie. Lots of talking with few (very few) moments of cinematic greatness. The Social Network is serious, and I know we all take facebook seriously, but this is a bit of a stretch. Its a great movie for Moms and Dads, considering they still can't quite figure out where this thing came from in the first place, and I would recommend that all of you see it. It talks about programming, and smart kids, and college. This, as far as I'm concerned, is a good thing. Great even. However, skip the theater. You'll leave underwhelmed and thirteen dollars short.

For Me

James Cameron writes a script with male characters only, then later inserts lady names for one or two. This lends itself to extremely strong and charismatic female roles. Aaron Sorkin did the opposite. He produced a screenplay full of whiny self absorbed women and then replaced them with whiny self absorbed men. Sorry y'all but this is a movie for dudes. Scratch that, boys.

There was another movie that came out the same weekend as The Social Network - Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. As far as I'm concerned Mr. Fincher's version was much more applicable. Aparently nothing seems to have changed in twenty years. The only difference now is that entrepreneurship is the new Wall Street and its just as corrupt, scathing, and disgusting to watch. Men are still obsessed with power and desperate for approval.

Not to be a hypocrite, but the performances were outstanding and the dialog was top notch. Cinematography was utterly watchable (sorry Jacob, but it wasn't beautiful - I hate The Red), the characters were engaging, and I was completely engrossed. But this movie didn't surprise me. Didn't wow me. Or do anything new in cinema that I hadn't already seen before. Have any of you idiots that raved about The Social Network ever seen anything by Mike Leigh? Anything?

Bottom line, I don't think this movie had a point. It was meta - and that's it. I kept asking myself why the marketing team for this film never mentioned that it was a David Fincher film. Now I know why: it sucked.

PS If you don't like my opinions, please refer to the title of this blog.

Heartbreaker

2010-09-24T19:18:00.004-04:00

I think the OR Books ladies and I are going to see Heartbreaker soon. The trailer is really silly and cheesy, but you can check out a clip here that redeems the movie just a little bit bit.

I absolutely adore Romain Duris. Check him out in The Beat That My Heart Skipped. Its based on a film called Fingers with Harvey Keitel. This one you can skip. Pun intended.

Die linkshändige Frau

2010-08-20T22:50:00.008-04:00

Decided. Watched The Left-handed Woman yesterday at Anthology Film Archives. Its a six o'clock movie.

2010-08-16T21:41:00.004-04:00

Hi New York,

Made it. Have a schedule now and getting ready to watch some serious movies. Not serious movies, just serious movie watching. Real progress will begin with whatever film Tomasz and I see when he's here this week. Far more excited about the act of picking at this point. Don't disappoint.

Best,

Crystal

PS Saw Inception. Tomasz and I got into such a heated phone argument he hung up me. Twice. Thanks Mr. Nolan.

I've Already Told You About This

2010-07-01T23:58:00.004-04:00

My roomie and savior Claire is Swedish. I like Swedish films. Especially when they're made by Roy Andersson.

Its okay if you don't know whether you should be giggling or not. Life on this big blue marble is a crapshoot, and you can laugh, or you can cry about it.

Check out his commercials too.

New York Has Made Me Smarter

2010-06-25T14:45:00.001-04:00

As you can tell by my taste, I am far more refined now that I live in New York.

Running a Lot

2010-06-14T17:32:00.007-04:00

I was at a whimsical Austin dinner party last night where one guest brought up Apocalypto. Her only comment was that it had a lot of running in it. It made her want to run five miles a day. Really? Not the fact that it is insanely violent? And brutal? And made by that crazy guy? Nope. Just the running.

New to Me Asian Flicks

2010-06-09T22:12:00.015-04:00

Tomasz and I were thinking about watching an Asian film today (how racist) and these were what we came up with:

Chocolate

Don't bother. It's really really really bad, full of montages, and reminded me of a student film. In my defense, this was Tomasz' pick.

Ichi the Killer

I'm embarassed to admit that I haven't seen anything by Takashi Miike. This is definately THE NEXT movie on my list, especially since Suzanne said she dumped a guy for making her watch it. My interest is piqued.

Thirst

I've already seen this one, and it has quickly become one of my new favorites. Romantic in a warped and masochitic way (think Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhal).Thirst is the latest film from Korean director Park Chan-wook, who stole our hearts with operatic tales of revenge in Sympathy for Mr. Vengance, Oldboy (rent this one already), and Lady Vengance. Its a vampire movie, but Thirst concerns itself more with male and female emotional woes. Love is the worst thing to happen to anyone - and I totally agree.

Not Sunny, But Hot as Balls

2010-06-08T15:01:00.011-04:00

Tomasz and I were gonna go to Hamilton Pool today, but without the sun, the whole trip looses its luster. Now we're thinkin about a movie date with the roomies. Splice, anyone?

I had no intention of seeing this movie, until I realized two things:

1. My other options are Robin Hood (no way Ridley- I'm not giving you any of my money), Prince of Persia (only at the dollar theater), and Iron Man 2. Let's be honest, its too late for me to see the latter.

2. Manohla Dargis recommended it. Not kidding. That's enough of a reason for me.

(We'll talk about whether or not she is supposed to be sexy and what the hell for later.)

PSA

2010-06-03T17:33:00.002-04:00

Remember when your girlfriend made you watch that movie with Drew Barrymore and you knew you were never going to get back those two hours and all you could think about was how to secretly check your cell phone and how funny your facebook status updates are and how leaving the room would make it too obvious that you have far better taste than everyone?

You were Time Raped.

It wasn't your fault, and don't be afraid to talk about it.

Time Rape* belongs to Ben Slamka.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

2010-06-01T19:15:00.009-04:00

For You

Overall, I'm glad that the success of this book is getting people to sit through a foreign film. At the theater. If you liked the book, the movie will be a bit of a let down (nothin' new for us book nerds), but there will be some semblance of tension. It's a bit of a ride to see exactly how the director chose to handle the sticky situations. I can't believe I'm saying this, considering how dedicated I am to the cinematic experience, but this one can be watched at home with the same result.

For Me

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is one long episode of "CSI Miami." The musical cues were crazy obvious (and totally laughable), way too much time was spent on emails, and I'm positive that the acting was terrible. The great thing about foreign films is that you USUALLY don't notice this since you're too busy reading and shit. Not the case here. Sorry dudes, but this movie is bad.

At the theater. Credits roll.

Ben: Well I couldn't tell what anyone was saying. Thankfully though that guy really knew how to shoot email. I always knew who was being sent and email, and who was recieving an email. Nice job on the email.

End scene.

Ondine

2010-04-28T17:28:00.008-04:00

A movie with Colin Farrell and mermaids. Fuck yea.

Seriously though, I doubt this movie will be all that great, even though it is written and directed by Neil Jordan - who shocked the shit out of us with The Crying Game and made it bearable to watch Tom Cruise again in Interview with a Vampire.

But unfortunately, Mr. Jordan's latest movies The Brave One (Oh, Jodie) and Breakfast on Pluto were a complete fail.

Not to mention that the trailer for Ondine is awful awful awful. It's up to you, but I'll almost definitely see it and let you how much it sucked.

Crash of the Titanics

2010-04-06T14:00:00.009-04:00

For You

A hot mess . Perfect for Easter weekend - silly visuals, giant mythic story ideas (which make no sense of course, but aren't required to since they center around Greek Mythology which most people know about two words of), and a little romance. And I mean little. At just under two hours (praise Jesus), Clash of the Titans is worth about ten bucks, but in all honesty its been out three days and is already dated. I promise you. See it now, meaning Sunday is last your chance, or at home with some grass and a bottle of wine. Just all of you promise me you won’t take this movie seriously. I am refusing to talk critically about it without laughing.

For Me

The guy from Avatar? Really? I am I the only one that thinks this is totally ridiculous? I'm supposed to love him, but hate his guts instead. Also, I now know that Greek Mythology is the answer to all writing woes. Why does black demi-god blood raise giant scorpions from the ground? Who cares! We’ll just distract the audience with a venom bite and short skirts on handsome men. And uh-oh, our backdrops are one dimensional paintings. Let’s make this movie 3D (that I now have to call regular movies 2D is making my hair fall out), so no one will be able to notice or focus on anything in particular. It’ll look awesome. And wait, the titans don't really clash with anyone. Its just Ralph Fiennes doing his "Voldemort" for two hours. I'd rather be watching Harry Potter. In fact, I'm watching it right now to make me feel better.

Sherlock Homes and Valkyrie were two movies that were trashy, but offensive to me. They didn’t trust their audience and assumed I was retarded. (Can I still use that word?) I wasn’t pissed off at Clash of the Titans and I am one hundred five million thousand percent sure that its because I have a sore spot for the Sci-Fi Fantasy genre. Listen to me: If you don’t really like period pieces or mythology this movie is going to rob you of two hours of your life. Watch it on TBS this fall for Christ’s sake.

I am putting the original on my queue right this second. Perseus is played by the guy from LA Law!

Barbe Bleue

2010-03-16T14:28:00.012-04:00

Barbe Bleue Trailer

Can't wait to see this one in the theater. Its based on a French Fable and directed by my favorite, Catherine Breillat. Other movies of hers to check out:

The Last Mistress

Besides Head-On, this is my favorite film about love and marriage.

Fat Girl

The French title is To My Sister, don't ask me why they changed it for the states. This one is already on Criterion. Vite vite.

Romance

Seasoned film watchers only please. I don't need any hate mail.

Can You Tell I Hate the Oscars?

2010-03-08T17:36:00.010-05:00

I found out the winners of this years Academy Awards via text message— working on a film, hanging out in a kitchen, waiting for my lighting cue. Not only did I want Kathryn Bigelow and the Hurt Locker to win everything, I had a systematic answer to why they would.

District 9: Nope. The Oscars went international last year. "Slumdog Millionaire was such a great film. And it was foreign!"

Up: Nope. Sorry y'all. We're still a few years away from giving Best Picture to a cartoon. (Even if it was a perfect one.)

Precious: Nope. Black Oscars just happened in 2002.

Avatar: No way. They can't reward Cameron for making the same movie again. He got his rocks off with Titanic. Boom. Done.

An Education: Nope. It's an actual foreign film, and we all know those are boring.

Blind Side: Sure. The Academy is going to throw away Best Picture on a "small independent" movie. Not happening.

A Serious Man: The Coen Brothers can do no wrong. The Academy can't give an Oscar to them every time they make a film.

Up in the Air: Nope. Too topical. Plus, I can't quite put my finger on the relationship between Clooney and Hollywood. All I know is that the time isn't right yet. (I know he didn't direct or write this one, but anything Mr. Clooney is in, is a Clooney project.)

Inglourious Basterds: No. I'm pretty sure the Academy has been goddamn frightened of Quentin Tarantino ever since they awarded him Best Screenplay for Pulp Fiction in 1994.

The Hurt Locker: The last man standing. It's the best movie made about the Iraq war to date, directed by a woman who has been making films (not always great ones) for over twenty years. Did you catch that? Directed by a woman. Which means it "signifies" something. The Academy couldn't resist.

Can you tell I hate the Oscars? I will admit I'm cartwheeling all over the place considering Ms. Bigelow and my favorite movie won, but it's all too easy to predict. If you want to get a feel for what the best movie of the year was, or better yet, a movie that represents what is happening in cinema at any given time, check out the Palme d'Or or the Golden Bear. In fact, make yourself a list from these awards. And I'm not afraid to smack you around if you don't.

Grey Gardens

2010-02-24T15:17:00.007-05:00

Unlike anything I've ever seen. Besides that weird turn of the century footage of men hunting polar bears in the Arctic that Tomasz made me watch at the Gene Siskel Film Center. Or Cremaster. My life has been changed.

So many questions.

Gamorra

2010-02-23T13:23:00.005-05:00

For You

A great question to ask at the end of this film is, "Which storyline was your favorite?" There is much to take in with Gomorra—it's a spiderweb of vignettes focusing on the Italian Mafia and how it affects all classes and ages. This is the meat of the film, and it's saying something distinct about Mafia culture. Here in the states we think to ourselves that getting a good education, moving up in the world, daring to keep kids of drugs; all of this can get you ahead in life. Gomorra is saying that even if you do that, the end result is the same—the company that hires you will be run by the mob anyway.

It's risky to think that Gomorra represents the true Italy (this is still a movie, complete with elaborate narratives and suspense), but hiding behind the cinéma vérité lay thought-provoking comments on culture, code of conduct, and class mobility.

For Me

When was the last time you saw a modern Italian film? (I'm not counting Life is Beautiful or Cinema Paradiso. These are a different kind of film, in a genre of their own. Women love them, which creeps me out.) It's great to see something well made, superbly acted, and expertly written come out of Italy.

I am a goddamn mind reader when it comes to plot lines and viewer expectations. Gomorra constantly surprised, caught me off guard, and worked against anything I was waiting for. All the while maintaining a subtle attitude, taking itself seriously, but not manipulating the viewer. If we were manipulated at all with this film, it was in the story surrounding the author of the books that Gomorra is based on. He's in hiding now, apparently after telling too many secret truths that belonged solely to the Mafia. This forces us to think we are watching "true stories," and I'm not falling for it.

Gomorra is a great film, but will lose it's luster upon repeat viewings. It's success lies in it's suspense. The Hurt Locker, my favorite film of 2009, suffers from the same syndrome—after the first time you see it, you're blown away. Moved. Affected. But re-watching, what us film nerdies do best, reveals mistakes, not perfection. If you haven't seen either of these movies, save it for the right occasion. Consider it your virginity.

Gamorrah Trailer

The Hurt Locker Trailer

Dear Video Games

2010-02-21T20:53:00.000-05:00

I hate you. Here's why:

Right now I live in a house where the living room is set up for viewing pleasure. Perfect. Only problem is, video games get played way way way too often. I own a Nintendo DS and have been addicted to Tetris and Dr. Mario since before I was born, so I'm with my roommates as a partner in crime. But gaming is an inherently singular experience. This, I like.

I made dinner at the house last night, and as we were eating, Tomasz and I picked something random to watch on Netflix streaming (my new favorite thing in the whole wide world). Yes. We eat dinner at the living room table. Judge away. Stuffing goolash into my face, I kept hearing:

"What is this?"

"She's my favorite character so far."

"Do girls actually say that?"

Kids kept pouring into the room, sitting down, attention grasped. But hey—people were eating—so there's no need to be overly intense.

Having a TV in the living room is never a bad thing, but it should be used to invite conversation, ideas, exploration. A video game only entices the player, leaving the rest of us in the dust. Or worse. As tag-a-longs. Gross.

I prefer capture the flag. Or kickball. Then we all get to play.

Oh, and the movie we were watching (I know you can hardly contain your excitement), was Trust, by the Amazing King of awkward play-like movies, Hal Hartley.

Trust Trailer

El Topo

2010-02-19T20:59:00.000-05:00

I had this movie laying around for centuries before I could set aside my ADD and concentrate on watching the whole thing. It's a surrealist spaghetti western (what a mouthful) that barely has a plot, but is loaded with great visuals. El Topo is not my favorite surrealist film, but it did remind me of some great ones. Before delving into this cowboy bebop, start with Cocteau (preferably Orphée), then try your hand with the rest. You choose, this way I wont be blamed for ruining your night. Sorry again Dad.

Orphée by Jean Cocteau

The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie by Luis Buñuel

In the Mirror of Maya Deren by Martina Kudlácek

(This is a documentary about one of the most amazing an influential surrealist auteurs, Maya Deren. It's crazy hard to find any of her films, so this is pretty much the only way to get a peek at her work. I love her like I love denim on denim. Visionary.)

New York, I Love You

2010-02-18T17:00:00.000-05:00

I couldn't watch the whole thing. My apologies, it was too painful. Using the wonders of Netflix streaming, I was able to fast-forward through the first three quarters till I found what I was looking for—a short by one of my favorites, Fatih Akin. It's called "Chinatown," and it left me underwhelmed. Shorts are almost impossible to make well (trust me, I've seen some that nearly made me lose my faith in cinema completely), but I do love how Wolphin can curate a scenario of entirely watchable miniature films. Like these:

"Kitchen" by Alice Winocour

"Bobby Bird" by Carson Mell

"The Pity Card" by Bob Odenkirk

"Sour Death Balls" by Jessica Yu

So Mr. Akin, I don't blame you for making something that was just, okay. Shorts are hard, and I'm a pretentious snob.

My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done?

2010-02-07T21:10:00.000-05:00

While Watching
Slightly funny, disorienting, creepy intrigue that led to boredom

After Watching (One Day)
Not the best

After Watching (Two Days)
Just bad

Today
Bad on purpose?

Anyone else feel like Herzog is messing with us?

My social experiment: Ben recommended that we see it and I resisted the urge to read anything about it. True story. I haven't walked into a movie with a blank slate like that in a thousand years. Your assignment for the week is to watch a movie that someone told you to see that you know NOTHING ABOUT.

Ladies and the Lens

2009-12-15T20:23:00.000-05:00

I was chit chatting with a new friend about female directors and wanted to list some of my favorites from the past few years.

Celine Sciamma

Catherine Breillat

Marianna Palka

Andrea Arnold

Ms. Arnold has a new movie coming out called Fish Tank that made some people pee their pants with excitement at Cannes. You can also check out her short Wasp on Cinema 16 or the youtuberie.

District 13: Ultimatum

2009-12-12T18:52:00.000-05:00

I can't fully recommend this movie since I haven't seen it, but the first film (with a shockingly different name, District B13, its hard to even make a connection between the two) was awe-fully fun to watch. The story eats away at itself half way through and the acting is on the weak side, which doesn't really matter since the film is in French and subtitled. The stunts are amazing (its a form of street gymnastics called parkour) and in most cases completely real. If you like action even a little try out District B13 before you waste any money on Ultimatum.

A Single Man

2009-12-10T22:14:00.000-05:00

For You

A well made, poignant, little movie. Its not so little, since it stars Colin Firth with Julianne Moore trailing behind him, but it is a first film from a first time director. A Single Man is based on the book (same title) by Christopher Isherwood, and is considered to be a lynchpin in the canon of gay fiction. The story is short. It takes place in the mind of the main character George, which means the script couldn't function without a narrator resulting in minimal dialog and an overload of perfect images. Is it a Gucci ad? Yes. Is it good? Yes. You'll love the performance by Colin Firth and one scene in particular, between himself and Ms. Moore, that sums up the confusion between straight and gay partnerships. Its worth the watch. I recommend the theater—its too pretty to pass up.

For Me

I hate narrators (unless its Woody Allen or Julie Delpy), and flashbacks—there is no getting around this—are cheating. The script was so bare that Mr. Firth is positively forced to give an over the top performance. That said, this was a great first film from Tom Ford. (Think he'll do another?) I can't give him a pass just because this is his first foray, but it was strong and well made. Since the script was weak, the dialog was sparse. Thank you producers! With more time to look and think it added a level of thoughtfulness to A Single Man. The performances are good (some better than others), but the shining moments of this film will come from the conversations to follow. My main talking point has been that A Single Man captures a time when we knew gay men existed, but couldn't tell if it was the person sitting next to you on the bus, your neighbor, even your college professor. Its about a secret world that I was more than happy to have been given a peek of.

A Single Man Trailer

Anthony Lane Ponders Michael Haneke

2009-10-06T17:44:00.000-04:00

Michael Haneke's new film The White Ribbon won the Palm d'Or this year at Cannes. Here is a snip from Anthony Lane's article about Mr. Haneke from the New Yorker.

"As a rough rule, cinema can be sundered into two halves: six-o'clock films and nine-o'clock films. Most movies are nine-o'clock affairs, and none the worse for it. You get home from work, grab something to eat, head to the theatre, and enjoy the show. And so to bed—alone or entwined, but, either way, with dreams whose sweetness will not be crumbled or soured by what you saw on screen. A six-o'clock movie requires more organization: prebooked tickets, a restaurant table, the right friends. You're going to need them, because if all runs according to plan you will spend the second half of the evening tossing the movie—the impact and the substance of it—back and forth. So "Persona" is a six-o'clock movie, though it wont leave you with much of an appetite. As is "The Deer Hunter," whereas "Platoon," for all its sound and fury, works fine for a nine-o'clock. "The Reader" is a nine-o'clock movie that thinks it's a six-o'clock. "Groundhog Day" is the opposite. And "The White Ribbon"? A six-o'clock movie, if I ever saw one." —Anthony Lane, The New Yorker

My favorite Haneke movie? The Piano Teacher. Everything else by him takes superhuman strength to watch.

The Piano Teacher Trailer

Shopping

2009-10-03T19:50:00.000-04:00

Cinema Revolution, a local video rental shop in Minneapolis, went out of business last week. This was promptly followed by a liquidation sale (five dollar entry fee) on of all of their foreign, cult, and classic collections. My roommate and I woke up real early today to get there on time for the 9 am opening. In retrospect, I should have grabbed a coffee and brought my camera.

We arrived at 9:12 am. Already one man had a box with more than thirty DVDs inside (I imagine he made giant swiping motions with his arms upon entering the building). When my friend took a peek inside, with his eyes, not his hands, the man immediately reminded him that "those were his." He also had a printed list of what he was looking for the length of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

In line, we were startled by the woman behind us when she asked if "we could please hold her place." She sprinted to the front, her trench coat flailing behind her. "Someone is looking in my box!" No one was.

I followed a man around for seven whole minutes before I worked up the courage to ask him if he would be willing to give up his copy of Head-On. He explained that he was Turkish, and hadn't seen it yet, but if I gave him my work address he would bring it to me (after he had watched it, of course). How reassuring.

I bought two movies:
- The American Friend
- Oldboy

I'll forever feel cheated because:
- That dude had never seen Head-On and got to it first
- As soon as I said out loud that I hadn't seen The Decalogue for sale, the person standing in front of us walked up to the counter, grabbed the box set, and bought it

Moral of the story: watch Cinemania.

Dead-Alive

2009-09-29T20:53:00.000-04:00

For You

Don't kid yourself, this is a genre film. Directed by Peter Jackson, and released as Braindead (why rename it?), this movie is about a hilarious rat-monkey who bites and old woman, and her son who tries to cover the whole thing up. When people say its gross (pretty much the only word I'd ever heard sandwiched next to Dead-Alive), they mean its over the top ridiculous. I was imagining Saw II type gore, but its delightful, fun, and completely unbelievable. No nightmares.

For Me

Even watching alone, I laughed out loud and at one point just stood up I was so shocked by how far Peter Jackson was willing to go. I often rant about how stunted the Zombie genre is (completely enjoyable, but impossibly hard to escape the ending), and Dead-Alive really challenges this. Maybe because its more a horror-comedy movie than a zombie one, but its structure truly surprised and refreshed my wary mind. I also liked that the allegory being told was front and center. I'd rather not have a film take itself completely seriously while trying to convince the audience that the "meaning" was an accident. Ooops!

(Does anyone else remember seeing this at the rental store when they were twelve and having a seizure?)

Dead-Alive Trailer

Good Dick

2009-09-17T12:25:00.000-04:00

For Us

This is my new developmentally inappropriate obsession — I haven't been able to watch any other movie for three days. All you need to know is that its a tale about a boy who is crushing hard on a girl. Original? Yes. Watch the trailer (it'll give you a good sense of who these people are), then forget you ever saw it. The characters aren't what you think, and even though the back stories are a teensy bit weak, this is Marianna Palka's first movie. That she directed, wrote, produced, and starred in. What a slacker.

PS Good Dick is being independently released (even on DVD), so if you like it, buy a copy right away from this site. Limited amounts.

Goodbye Lenin!

2009-09-10T22:37:00.000-04:00

For You

Goodbye Lenin! was nominated for about eighty billion awards. Which one did it win the most of? Audience! People went ape shit for this movie. Its quirky (coasting on the success of Amelie), makes for great talking points, and has a happy ending. Watchable with EVERYONE, even the people listed in your phone who you never remember meeting. And Moms. My public service announcement is that it takes place in Berlin, between 1989 and 1990. If you are space cadetting on what was happening then, look it up for Christ's sake.

For Me

Cute. Not cute enough. The two plot lines:
1. Family
2. Country
never quite meet. One needed to win the battle, and instead they accidentally collide, both of them feeling unfinished and sloppy. During the "precious moments," when you are supposed to really FEEL something (kill me), what I felt was the need to clip my toe-nails. This is because I'm a BRAT. Honestly, audience award! It'll only be the die hard compulsive alone movie watchers like myself that see wasted potential. And this is because I've seen more movies than you. Which basically means I qualify for Mensa.

Inglourious Basterds

2009-09-03T01:37:00.000-04:00

For You

That rumor about Brad Pitt only being in the movie for thirty-seven minutes? Its true. This is also how much of the film is spoken in English. This isn't Quentin Tarantino's WWII movie, its his foreign film. Most of the things you love about his movies, if you do love them, aren't there, and its his weakest "story" to date. If you aren't willing to drink wine coolers with Tarantino, you might as well skip it and have a martini with your friends.

For Me

Tarantino dialogue is BRILLIANT when read! This is not a joke. I heart Death Proof, but I could barely stand the monologues. Too talkie talk talk. Inglourious Basterds is one giant conversation (yea, its violent, but only for twenty minutes and they're spread out like bread crumbs) and I never once got bored. Reading is fun! The Jew Hunter is fab — best thing in the movie, not counting my new lady crush Shosanna — and the opening scene is well worth putting up with Brad Pitt. I hate to say it, but Tarantino is basically a genius, and although this is not my favorite of his films, there is nothing truly wrong with it. Except the story. That's a little bunk, but I already said that. I will fo sho see it again. Preferably in a movie theater. (This will make sense once you see the movie. I hope. Does that put too much pressure on you?)

The Devil's Backbone

2009-07-25T15:23:00.000-04:00

Uh, exactly the same as Pan's Labrynth. Since The Devil's Backbone was made first (right before Blade II. ouch), and doesn't have creatures fighting for screen time, I guess they're not EXACTLY the same. Here are some of the similarities:

- protagonist is a kid (but a boy)
- takes place during the Spanish Civil War (Del Toro is Mexican. WHAT is going on here. . .)
- able bodied men make me nervous
- creepy supernatural shit

During the first twenty minutes I couldn't stop obsessing about how the two movies were twinsies, but The Devil's Backbone really takes off, turns into a bit of a mystery for a while, and ends by neatly tying up all of its shoelace plot lines. I liked it, I'd recommend it, and you should watch it. Yes, it has subtitles. The movies I like to watch are foreign. Get over it.

Tetro

2009-07-24T21:53:00.000-04:00

Its been three days and my final answer is I don't know. When someone asks what I think, I pause. . . (thats me, still paused, annoying myself). . . and wind up answering a question with a question. "Have you seen Buffalo 66?" This question MAKES NO SENSE and has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE. So, I don't know if I liked Tetro—there is something redeemable in it for the film student or historian; or found it to be a waste of time—the story meanders and ends up overblown; or a work of genius that is so far over my head its floating away like the red balloon. Writing a review would be a waste of both our time, so good fucking luck at the theater. And stop looking at me like I ever know what I'm talking about.

On the other hand, I do want to see Tetro again (at home) to catch some things I may have missed. I also liked how disorienting it was, which seems to happen less and less in American cinema.

If you haven't seen Buffalo 66 yet, now is a great time to play catch-up or revisit it. Vincent Gallo is always fun to watch. He wrote, directed, composed the soundtrack, and starred in Buffalo. He really must have liked this guy "Tetro" to trade him in for fits of control.

The Hurt Locker

2009-07-10T17:08:00.000-04:00

I'm putting on my hipster gladiator goddess sandals right now to go see this movie.

"If “The Hurt Locker” is not the best action movie of the summer, I’ll blow up my car." — A.O. Scott

Ghost Town

2009-07-09T17:36:00.000-04:00

Nope. Sorry Ricky Gervais, but no one wants to see you kiss Téa Leoni. And No kissing plus romantic comedy equals torture. I laughed a lot when you touched the mummy though.

Ghost Town Trailer

Love Songs

2009-07-03T14:01:00.000-04:00

Frustrating. One, I don't want people singing when they're having sex. Two, unless Paris really is experiencing a spike in threesome relationships, this premise was devised for horny Americans. Three, what a waste of my favorite actors. I love Louis Garrel and Ludivine Sagnier, but their performances were overdone and fakey. This homage to Godard just left me wanting to watch old Godard, and nothing more by Christophe Honore. What happened to the director of Ma Mere?

Love Songs Trailer

The Conformist

2009-06-20T11:04:00.000-04:00

I can't remember who reccommended this to me, or where I first heard of The Conformist, Bernardo Bertolucci's seventh film. It truly surprised me since I felt that The Dreamers was a movie left unfinished (even though I love Louis Garrell). The Conformist is a visual explosion set in 30s Italy and France. At times I thought I was watching a long lost Felini film, (but not La Strada, more Juliet of the Spirits) although this might have been the fact that its also a dubbed movie in which no ones lines match their lips. Overall, I think I'd tell almost everyone to see it.

I was a little nervous that I liked this movie too much, that perhaps it won me over by cheating somehow. Here is a clip from Pauline Kael's review to back me up.

"Bernardo Bertolucci wrote and directed this extraordinarily rich adaptation of the Alberto Moravia novel about an upper-class follower of Mussolini. It's set principally in 1938. Bertolucci's view isn't so much a reconstruction of the past as an infusion from it; the film cost only $750,000-Bertolucci brought together the decor and architecture surviving from that modernistic period and gave it all unity. Jean-Louis Trintignant, who conveys the mechanisms of thought through tension, the way Bogart did, is the aristocratic Fascist-an intelligent coward who sacrifices everything he cares about because he wants the safety of normality. Stefania Sandrelli is his deliciously corrupt, empty-headed wife, and Dominique Sanda, with her swollen lips and tiger eyes, is the lesbian he would like to run away with. The film succeeds least with its psychosexual approach to the Fascist protagonist, but if the ideas don't touch the imagination, the film's sensuous texture does. It's a triumph of feeling and of style-lyrical, flowing, velvety style, so operatic that you come away with sequences in your head like arias. With Pierre Clémenti as the chauffeur, Gastone Moschin as Manganiello, and Enzo Tarascio as the anti-Fascist professor (who resembles Godard). Cinematography by Vittorio Storaro. In Italian." —Pauline Kael

O Amor Natural

2009-06-14T11:47:00.000-04:00

Lordy, this was cute. After the well known Brazilian poet Carlos Drummond de Andrade passed away, they (I think his wife or lover and his publishers) found piles and piles of erotic poetry, which he had never shown to anyone. O Amor Natural is a collection of touching interviews. The filmmakers asked a variety of Brazilians to read aloud from an erotic collection of Carlos Drummond de Andrade poems, and all of them are over the age of sixty-five. They follow up with their own beliefs about sexuality along with some saucy personal histories. Plus, O Amor Natural is short—a quick seventy minutes. And there's a butt montage. Perfect for after dinner on a Monday night.

The Hairdresser's Husband

2009-06-13T11:53:00.000-04:00

This was a movie that a friend recommended to me ages ago. It only recently became available on DVD, so thank you Netflix for being on the ball. There isn't anyone terribly famous in The Hairdresser's Husband, it's only 82 minutes, and you'll never figure out exactly what is going on, but it was fun to watch and very poetic. Frenchies make the best romances. If you like Jean-Pierre Jeunet (it's hard to image that he didn't see this movie and instantly love it - in fact, The Hairdresser's Husband, Amelie and The Double Life of Veronique prove that there was some sort of movement happening in French cinema in the early nineties), Bergman, Bunuel, even David Lynch, give The Hairdresser's Husband a shot. In short, if you love movies and watch them all the time, all the time, you'll really enjoy it.

The first three minutes of this movie are fantastically sweet.

Director Fatih Akin

2009-06-09T19:58:00.000-04:00

No, his name is not Faith, it's Faa-tee. He's a German director with Turkish blood and his films usually take place in multiple countries, with multiple languages. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I had to ask someone exactly what was going on between these two groups, and this is more or less what I found out. In the 1960s Germany created a visa for "Guest Workers," allowing people from foreign countries to enter and earn money legally, but only for a certain amount of time. Most immigrants planned on moving back to their home country, except they started having children and planting roots. Now there is a huge Turkish community in Germany, but they are looked upon as secondary citizens. This happens all over the world, but I like seeing little pockets of cultural layering, especially when it takes place generationally within families. It makes for great drama, and Akin uses this to his advantage, while also being truly gifted at guiding performances. I could just sit and watch the faces of his actors for hours.

Head-On won the Golden Bear in 2004, along with a slew of other awards. Probably my favorite movie about marriage ever made. I really enjoyed watching it, but found myself to be seriously depressed and effected days later.

Edge of Heaven really captures the existential connections that Kieslowski and Fellini gravitated towards in their work. It's not like Inarritu (Babel, 21 Grams), who thinks that we just bump into one another without reason and create chaos, it's very nuanced and has a sense of purpose.

UP

2009-06-09T19:43:00.000-04:00

I feel silly even recommending it, since I'm pretty sure everyone has already seen the new Pixar film UP. I liked it a lot (better than WALL-E), loved it even, and wouldn't mind seeing it again. Tomasz saw it twice, once in 3-D and once in regular fashion, and he recommends seeing it with the forty dollar red and blue lenses. At the same time, some reviewers reported 3-D to be distracting. My guess is that most people will see it two or three times, so for the first time spring for some depth perception. Then see it at the two dollar theater when the temps reach ninety and above. Free air conditioning!

What's with Pixar movies and the crying? I was strong willed enough to make it through WALL-E without shedding a tear, I found the sympathy for him to be a little forced, but I'll be damned if I made it six minutes into UP without balling. Bring a hankie with you or something.

A Fun New Game to Play

2009-06-08T12:23:00.000-04:00

The next time you see a movie, try and guess if it was shot digitally or on film. You'll be surprised by the answers if you look them up.

Exhibit A: Superbad

Sceen Unseen

2009-06-05T18:02:00.000-04:00

Scene Unseen is the best radio program about movies right now. Chris sees a movie, Jimmy doesn't. Then they make fun of each other. It's actually a podcast, which means you can listen to them for free when you're doing things like working or ordering hovercrafts online.

Scene Unseen Website

Summer Times

2009-05-23T17:20:00.000-04:00

If you're trying to spend less money this summer, put together your own film festival and tell your crew to bring some popcorn.

The Sandlot

Summer Rental

Space Camp

Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation

Stand By Me

Little Darlings

Looking for films that won either the Palm d'Or or the Golden Bear also works great when picking in a pinch.

Inglorious Basterds

2009-03-11T14:54:00.000-04:00

Usually WWII films are politically correct - artsy, moving allegories with poignant atrocities - so the Inglorious Basterds trailer has made me nervous. This seems like a lot of violence in a genre where the evil of mankind is typically handled gently. Can we think of other WWII movies with large amounts of gratuitous violence?

Inglorious Basterds Trailer

Interested: I Love You Man

2009-02-25T14:59:00.000-05:00

For those of us that loved Forgetting Sarah Marshall (and if you haven't seen it, don't rent it, just buy it) this might be a way to hold us over until Jason Segel directs the new muppet movie. Caution: The director John Hamburg has only made one movie. Along Came Polly. He did however, direct two episodes of Stella so we all have a fifty-fifty chance here.

I Love You Man Trailer

Milk

2009-02-25T14:28:00.000-05:00

Milk, the newest film from Gus Van Sant about the charismatic force that was Harvey Milk, will leave you feeling inspired, touched, and full of life. It might come with a few tears, there is no secret about the ending, but every one of them is earned and elicited from perfect execution.

I liked Milk more than I thought I would for a few reasons. One, Gus Van Sant is not what I would consider consistent filmmaker. By this I mean his approach and story choice, not his talent. (Wes Anderson, too gifted for his own good, keeps making the same movie, so I'm not knocking Van Sant, I just don't go running around watching movies because he directed them.) I was uncertain about what what the film might be like. Two, bio pics get under my skin with their formula — rise to power, abuse of power, demise — and since you almost always know how they will end, I feel as if I never need to see them again, let alone finish them. Milk lets these issues flow behind it like paper streamers; they're attached, but the film is much too far ahead for them to get in the way.

Milk is what you'd expect, only better. If you think it will be okay, it will be good, great, perfect even. It is a gorgeous representation of a time, city, and legend. Harvey Milk was a man like any other, so his utter perfection in this film (he's never mean, unpredictable, or wrong), is surely an exaggeration of the truth, but if you're bogged down by fact this may not be the movie for you in the firs place.

I'm curious about how straight men will feel about Milk. It's so full of love and romance, and all of it between guys. As a viewer, I was equally engaged watching men kiss and roll around in bed, as I am when a guy and gal, or even two women (I'm talking about cinema here) do the same. Let me know what you think.

On a side note I would like to recommend a little film called The Assassination of Richard Nixon. The main character Samuel J. Bicke, played by Sean Penn with astounding awkwardness, seems related to his Harvey Milk somehow, minus the super powers. Nixon also comes with a tape recorder and an art department dedicated to the seventies.

Milk Trailer

Assassination of Richard Nixon Trailer

Waltz With Bashir

2009-02-16T23:53:00.000-05:00

If I had to choose one word to describe Waltz With Bashir it would be: profound. Everyone should see this film. I’ll admit I walked away a little more confused than when I went in, but the point of a documentary is to excite the brain into doing some research, entice it away from passive viewing. Bashir is at times hip and foreign (techno music is alive and well everywhere but the United States), while still maintaining the sense of gravity that is necessary for stories about death and war. It proves that other countries are using animation to tell tales of historical significance and sorrow (I’m thinking of Persepolis here), while America (with the exception of The Chicago 10) is stuck in the stigma that is following Wall-E like the plague. Animation is for kids, not best picture Oscars. Waltz With Bashir does some serious damage to the concept of the cartoon (this movie is NOT for children, or it is depending on how you want them to see the world) and when the director Ari Folman breaks from the form at the end, he does it to remind you that what you just saw may have looked like a fantasy land, but is in fact a very real and disturbing place. Did I mention that I thought everyone should see it?

The Wrestler

2009-02-09T19:10:00.000-05:00

I completely understand why Mickey Rourke won a Golden Globe, a BAFTA, and possibly an Academy Award for his performance in The Wrestler, the newest film from Darren Aronofsky (Requiem For a Dream, The Fountain). It’s also the first movie I’ve seen in a while that actually felt ‘independent’. (Although there’s really no such thing anymore.) Marisa Tomei bares all in this one. Her performance is very subdued, but just as realistic and moving as Mr. Rourke's, and although Evan Rachel Wood tries her best, it was this relationship that moved the least. With all this emotion flying around, I’m curious whether or not our feelings for Randy ‘The Ram’ Robinson come from the film or Mickey Rourke, who we also know to be a washed up and tired old man. This is a case of perfect casting and amazing talent, but it is also a case of mistaken identity. Are we watching a story about an actor or a wrestler? A little of both, I guess, because what makes Mr. Rourke’s performance so amazing is it’s degreeing levels of honesty. He bares his very soul to us in some terribly awkward scenes (exercise, tanning, bleaching) almost as if this whole movie were some sort of personal penance of his. I don’t know if he deserves to go to heaven, but I’m more than satisfied with an award or two.

The Wrestler Trailer

Go See: Waltz With Bashir

2009-01-18T13:41:00.000-05:00

Waltz With Bashir opens this weekend in Minneapolis — January 30th at the Uptown Theater. (It's already playing in select cities just in case you live in one.) Bashir is an animated pseudo-documentary about the Israeli-Lebanon conflict of the nineteen eighties. Go see it.

Waltz With Bashir Trailer

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-01-13T22:27:00.000-05:00

Slumdog Millionaire is the perfect blend of Eastern and Western cinema. Danny Boyle adds some grit and realism to this romantic fairytale (it's just barely believable) that no one will be able to leave unsatisfied.

The love that blossoms between the main character Jamal (newcomer Dev Patel who doesn't do much to hide it) and Latika (Indian sweetheart Freida Pinto) becomes harder and harder to swallow as the film progresses and the story adheres strongly to formula, meaning the whole thing feels like a setup and you can see what's coming around the next corner, but Slumdog Millionaire is a welcome return to the old Danny Boyle. Although moments in his films may be bleak, as a director Boyle has always dabbled in destiny — it's hard to forget the chain of events that made A Life Less Ordinary possible — and this film is an exciting achievement for him.

Slumdog Millionaire does Indian cinema a great justice. It's saved from exploitation and is redefined for a western audience. Wes Anderson tried not so long ago to take us to India in The Darjeeling Limited and although his film was a beautiful vacation, as viewers we felt like sight-seers in a foreign country. This film has translated Bollywood for us (even if it's on a superficial level) and I left the theater ready for the real thing. And believe it or not, it makes a great family movie. Parents will feel informed and inspired, so formula or not Slumdog Millionaire is a winner. Getting anyone to voluntarily experience the slums of Indian is an achievement indeed.

Slumdog Millionaire Trailer
A Life Less Ordinary Trailer
The Darjeeling Limited Trailer

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2009-01-03T14:14:00.000-05:00

If you're going to see it (and I suggest that you do) take the time and invest in a theater experience. Benjamin Button makes gorgeous use of digital format and although the story isn't new the point of view is. Screenwriter Eric Roth made a name for himself with Forest Gump, which is unfortunately a little too similar to Benjamin Button, but he also wrote Munich and his scripts are moving in a very romantic way. This is life as magical realism.

Don't worry too much about the romance between Cate Blanchet (radiant as always) and Brad Pitt. It's difficult to see Benjamin Button as anyone other that Pitt, which has less to do with his acting than it does with his persona. I think the stardom that we have afforded him is hurting how we watch him. He is aptly cast, beautiful and adoring but he simply cannot escape his household name. I would recommend that he disappear from the public eye, just for a bit, so that we may view him in a different light. That said, the lifelong bond between Daisy and Benjamin is a necessary element, but it doesn't carry the film and it doesn't need to. The first few acts are mesmerizing, and they refrain from romantic pandering. Movie posters and trailers made us think that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is about something it's not, and this time I didn't mind. Love is an easy ploy, and if it gets people into the theater to see this film, I am more than satisfied.

Keep in mind that this film is based on the idea of F. Scott Fitzgerald's short story, not it's plot synopsis. What David Fincher found fascinating was the ennui. The same goes for the film; it's overall effect is terribly emotional, but the performances (while strong) are only part of a much bigger picture. In this version, it's the film that steals the show.

Valkyrie

2008-12-30T23:38:00.001-05:00

For some reason I thought Valkyrie was an action film, which may have been what ruined it for me. It suffers from predictability (it’s fairly clear that Hitler was not assassinated by a group of rogue Nazis), which left it dangling between a character piece and a made for TV movie. The whole character idea was scratched the moment they cast Tom Cruise in the lead and the rest of the sad bunch (Kenneth Branagh, Tom Wilkinson) just stand in front of the camera and deliver poorly written lines. Valkyrie is depressingly mundane and entirely formulaic, which made my distaste for it a little difficult, considering that there’s nothing actually wrong with the picture. As long as you don’t think that working Nazis and World War II into a cute little formula is wrong. Personally, I find it offensive and although it may be an important film to see based on subject matter, it is not enough of an excuse for turning something grand into something simplistic.

If you just need, need, need to see a movie about the Third Reich save yourself from Valkyrie and see Good. I saw it at the Toronto International Film Festival and although it’s far from perfect it tackles Nazi psychological frustration in a way that Valkyrie simply isn't willing to. Good is based on a play, and feels like it, but it’s characters are convincing in an oddly theatrical way. Don’t try to figure out what Viggo Mortensen is doing with a British accent while inhabiting the role of a German professor. Apparently the rules of reality don’t apply to World War II pictures and I for one miss The Hunt for Red October approach.

Frights

2008-10-28T00:14:00.000-04:00

Let the Right One In
New Swedish vampire film.

Shiver
Like The Mist but more about scary creatures than group dynamics.

Twilight
Based on the best selling young adult novel, a young vampire falls in love with a mortal.

The Haunting in Connecticut
A based on a true storyish film about a family that moves into a haunted house.

It may be too early to tell, but as we head into the winter movie season, it looks as if we are leaving the torture dramas behind. It could be Haloween's influence, but two of these films don't come out for another month. New horror films are centering around the paranormal and supernatural. Are we returning to fairy tale fears because our lives have finally gotten real enough? Does watching someone loose a foot in Saw XXII hit too close to home?

Let the Right One In

2008-10-26T13:23:00.000-04:00

I can't watch scary movies very often because the characters follow me home. Let the Right One In is a new Swedish vampire film by director Tomas Alfredson and it's worth seeing. Read Manohla Dargis' review if you need convincing after the trailer. Ingmar Bergman could make a romantic comedy creepy so my guess is that Let the Right One In has similar tendencies.

Let the Right One In Trailer

When is the Election Again?

2008-10-16T19:51:00.000-04:00

Remember our president? The one that's in office right now? The new Oliver Stone film W opens Friday. I dare you to stay out of the theaters this weekend.

Rachel Getting Married

2008-10-16T18:55:00.001-04:00

A good bet for a flick. Rachel Getting Married opens in Minneapolis Friday at the Uptown Theater. If you like Dogma films, or are wondering what the hell that means, give it a try. A.O. Scott gave it a favorable review, nothing stellar but delightful to watch.

Ballast

2008-10-14T11:32:00.000-04:00

Wednesday is your chance to see Ballast at the Walker Art Center, which seems to be stepping it up a notch in the film department. Manohla Dargis has been fawning over this film since she saw it at Sundance, it's her new sweetheart. Check out her review and the trailer. If you don't live in Minneapolis you probably live somewhere way cooler where this movie is playing at every street corner. Fork up the twenty bucks already.

Mike Leigh Retrospective

2008-10-11T12:52:00.000-04:00

The Walker is hosting a Mike Leigh Retrospective this month. Brush your teeth and go out in public to see one of them. Naked was last night and if you missed it I challenge you to see it on your own. Then watch it again. Then we can talk. Happy Go Lucky is tonight, but I also put a stamp of approval on Secrets and Lies, Topsy Turvy and who am I kidding. They're all good.

Toronto International Film Festival

2008-08-30T01:07:00.000-04:00

The Toronto International Film Festival starts September 4th - I’ll be there for the final weekend doing my best to figure out which films were well received and who our bright new film stars are. Actors, directors, screenwriters and such. If you have a recommendation or find yourself on the TIFF website don’t hesitate to comment, I’m more than willing to see or sleuth any film you might want to know more about.

Yes, the Coen Brothers’ Burn After Reading is screening, but that movie will be in theaters in about ten minutes. I'll just take a picture of Clooney instead.

Tiff Website

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

2008-08-26T21:55:00.000-04:00

The title hints at a threesome between two girls and a country, but Woody Allen had a different idea. Using his muse Scarlett Johansen, Penelope Cruise and a simplistically romantic Javier Bardem, Allen gives us yet another version of his youthful frustration fables. An engaged Vicky (a delightful yet flat Rebecca Hall) and a newly single Christina (Johansson) travel to Barcelona for the summer only to find themselves subduly charmed by Juan Antonio, a painter who’s passion crazed wife tried to kill him. Or he tried to kill her, but it doesn’t really matter. Penelope Cruz plays the role of ex-wife Maria Elena with a confidence that outshines anyone in the film and makes Hall and Johansen seem like they’re playing house – which may have been what Allen intended all along. He likes his women young and confused. Bardem is underused and serves as an idea as opposed to a character but in giving us his wife, a headstrong know-it-all, Allen manages to make his bourgeoisie American ladies seem as humorously frustrating and cliché as ever. The movie is funny if you’re not afraid to laugh when the rest of the theater is quiet. With a stereotypical travelers guide to Gaudi and a mildly annoying narrator, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is watchable but nothing new.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona Trailer

Wanted

2008-08-17T16:10:00.000-04:00

Someone told me that Wanted made them want to have sex. Just in general, not with anyone in particular. It made me want to by a gun and use that gun in a kickboxing class. It was better than the Indian Jones debacle and just as satisfying as Iron Man - maybe not critically (whatever that means), but in terms of how much enjoyment I got out of it or how connected to the film I was. Crazy fun and totally self aware, Wanted was a blockbuster with some pizazz accompanied by a one-two punch. For every effective and awesome scene there is an equally flabbergasting retarded one (you know, the whole good versus evil thing) but in the end it’s completely watchable and a pretty good ride. By pretty good, I mean see it in the theater.

As a warning, when I say bad, I mean it. Really bad. Not bad like that was a weak moment but wow, whoever wrote that scene really loved Smokin’ Aces. About three quarters through the film I envisioned men in a board room going, “And then let’s put them on top of a building, for the scenery and such. And then, better yet, lets have it be in the middle of an earthquake, because being an assassin alone isn’t quite dangerous enough. This will give them a chance to be calm in the face of shaky circumstances. And then, no this is perfect, we can have the building turn into a robot that moves about the city while they fight it out. Yea. That’s perfect”. My thoughts exactly.

None of that happens in the movie, but it could have. My theory is as such: If you like action, action that doesn’t take itself seriously, think Hot Fuzz or Hellboy, you’ll really get into this film. Now, this kind of lonely man of honor flick is not be confused with a Nicolas Cage explosion of hilarity, you laugh with Wanted, not at it. There is a Karate Kid feeling to it for the first half – a good old fashioned wimp to ass-kicker story that also involves a fly. And it pokes fun at complacency, Office Space owns this market, but it works and gives the audience and James McAvoy and nice boost .

Wanted is good for:

Cheap Dates! It’s second run now (I paid three dollars to see it but would have paid ten). Make sure your lady or man likes action though. Otherwise rent The Notebook.
Dudes. I don’t know when dudes go out with other dudes to see movies but this would work for that.
Movie geeks. It teeters on the edge, but it’s just smart enough to be art house trash. You know, Cronenberg style.

An Old Mistress

2008-08-02T12:28:00.000-04:00

The American title of Catherine Breillat's new film is The Last Mistress but it's direct and appropriately inferred title is An Old Mistress. I agree with most of Manohla Dargis' views, this film was her pick of the week lasting twice that title, but what Dargis doesn't admit to is one audience requirement: must like period piece.

This move is near perfect - simple yet developed story, superb acting, tightly edited and compiled and finally, as my patience is wearing thin on three hour epics, a clean 110 minutes. There is plenty of full nudity and sexual encounters (Last Mistress received an NR rating) but, sorry gentlemen, it's far from gratuitous. Mistress is a period piece and no amount of flesh can change this. And ladies, when approaching this film keep in mind that it's French. With a French story. It's more Dangerous Liasons and Madame Bovary than Jane Austin and her feminist love stories. If you enjoy a good period piece, The Last Mistress is incredibly depressive, more about the foils of monogomy that a spirited lover. Watch when in a good mood and in the company of others.

Asia Argento is outstanding, her ability to change moods in a single shot just by slightly moving her mouth and changing her gaze is unparalleled since the likes of Julietta Masina. We owe more to her than to her character Vellini and the same goes for her lover Ryno ( Fu'ad Ait Aattou). It's always nice to see classics acted out by the gorgeous considering, deep down, we know that it is far from fact.

Manohla Dargis NY Times Review
The Last Mistress Trailer

One for the Pinneapple Express

2008-07-16T22:55:00.000-04:00

This is the first Judd Apatow project that I have been genuinely interested in, which prompted me to do a little research. It's directed by David Gorden Green who's first film George Washington is a near perfect representation of small town America. If you haven't checked it out yet - George Washington is a great date, home alone, or watch it with your parents who think The Shawshank Redemption is a work of genius movie.

I am excited to see these funny boys, Apatow and Rogen, tackle a movie that involves a plot and not just an idea. Jokes work better when they're centered around situation and although the living room can produce hilarious moments, I want to spend my ten dollars on an adventure.

All in all, this will most likely be an enjoyable film. I'm thinking The Big Lebowski meets Half Baked and the reviews I've read, based on test screenings, have been exciting. Who cares if they were written by someone called 'The Midnight Toker'. Stoners are people too you know.

George Washington
Directed by David Gordon Green

Home Videos - Pusher II: With Blood on My Hands

2008-07-13T14:58:00.000-04:00

This is the second installment in a surprisingly fun trilogy from director Nicolas Winding Refn starring Mads Mikkelsen, a Danish heartthrob who has just recently made his way across the seas to the American Film Industry. You’ll recognize him as Le Chiffre, the man with a blood-weeping eye in Casino Royale.

These movies are about deals that go wrong because in actuality, deals usually go wrong. So many films are about the process of fixing, by superhero like gun toters, it’s refreshing to see a film about the logistics of a crime. Scratch that. This film isn’t realism. It’s an attempt at realism that takes place in a world very similar to ours, where men find themselves in situations that are completely beyond their control.

Pusher II: With Blood on My Hands, a thug movie with white people (this is Denmark), is a refreshing take on the stereotype of the gangster. The title character Tonny is unredeemable, a truly unlucky and untalented dealmaker. Mikkelsen plays him beautifully, as he does all of his roles, a tough guy with awkward undertones. Tonny is out of jail (it’s a little hazy here why he was in jail for the first place and how much time has passed since the first film) and heads to his dad’s chop shop looking for work. Throughout the film he’s trying to regain the trust and respect of his father, the lord of a small crime ring, but nothing seems to go his way.

When Guy Ritchie and Quentin Tarantino were making stylish pictures with clogged sink narratives Nicolas Winding Refn was making something entirely his own. Only the Danes can take the underbelly of society and turn it into a subtle and suspenseful exercise in endurance. Pusher, the first in the series is by far the most adventurous in style and structure, but the second installment builds on its idea, not it’s story, which results in a sister film instead of a sequel.

The Dogma movement has passed and I doubt that filmmakers will find their way back to it, but it’s effects are alive and well in style and tone. The interaction between two characters, when done right, can be just as redeemable as a man flying through the air with guns ablaze.

Yes. You can watch this movie without seeing the original but I do recommend that you see Pusher at some point and time.

NY Times Review