A Girl Cut in Two

Very simple and extra French. I watched this one on my own and wasn't completely WOWed, but I enjoy French cinema in general and it was, as Tomasz likes to call it, "literary." This means that it was probably based on a novel, opera, or Shakespearean drama. In this case it was inspired by true events, although I think we all know what that means. I have a tendency to favor these movies not so much for the dialog but for the crazy plot twists all in the name of love or honor.

Baby Pigeon

Like the rest of America, I was stuck in an airport this week, and as a friendly gesture Jet Blue let us watch the pay per view movie channels for free once we finally took off. Unfortunately Going the Distance was playing and in trying to force myself to watch it I got a nose bleed. (We all know how I feel about Drew Barrymore not to mention I'm in year THREE of a long distance relationship. Ick.) There was a character however that kept ranting on and on about how he never sees any baby pigeons in New York City and you know what, he's right. Where the hell are all the baby pigeons?

Moonstruck

Joana and Jacob talked me into this one by hailing the Brooklyn scenery. Um, that's not really enough to get me through a romantic comedy. I guess I just thought the writing would be better, and Nicolas Cage would be as good as he was in Peggy Sue Got Married, and the costume design would be fun to revisit. Oh well. It did, however, make me want to eat spaghetti with meatballs and go on a date that involved candles.

Moonstruck is actually more of a play than a movie and if you liked it, or liked it when you were a kid and watching it on TBS, I would advise that you invite your sweetheart over on a Tuesday, order take out, and watch a Hal Hartly film. Trust is the best, but people tend to like Henry Fool better. These movies will feel a little strange at first, but once you make it to the 30 minute marker you'll be hooked.

Syriana

Holy Hell I did it. I managed to get my parents to watch Syriana. On Christmas. You're Welcome.

The Public Library

In preparation for my visit to Florida, Mom took a trip to the Public Library. She rented three movies; Desk Set, The Secret Life of Words, and A Pink Panther something or other. Letting your parents pick the movie is a great feeling, especially since I "make" them watch certain films every time we get together - this year it's Man on Wire.

Growing up, once a week, Mom and I would take a trip downtown walk up six flights of stairs, and grab whatever looked good from the video section. Believe it or not this is how I stumbled upon Star Wars and Indiana Jones. (My childhood soul sister Kim had gabbed on and on about Harrison Ford when we were ten, but I hadn't seen them yet.) I watched A New Hope about thirty times when I rented it since it didn't have to be returned for ten whole days. And it was free. God bless the Public Library.

Tron

Jillian's coming to NYC for her twenty-first birthday this weekend. I'll probably drag her to this.

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Remember the Real Winona?

After seeing Winona Ryder in Black Swan the OR Ladies and I contemplated her best performances. Beetlejuice, Mermaids, anything from the eighties - but I had a nagging suspicion that I had seen her in something good. Something watchable. . .

So when I was waiting in line at Whole Foods, after picking up my five dollar chicken in the hopes that it would last me a few meals, saying to myself, "I really thought I'd be more sucessful than this at twenty-eight," it dawned on me. I'd heard that line before.

Lelaina: I was really gonna be something by the age of twenty-three.

Troy: Honey, all you have to be by the age of twenty-three. . . is yourself.

Winona Ryder was great in something - Reality Bites

Movie Videos & Movie Scenes at MOVIECLIPS.com

I miss my sweetheart.

Actor James Franco Puts on a Show. For Himself.

James Franco Acting for the New York Times Magazine

My New Film Festival

Anthony Lane just announced his "10 Films I liked in 2010" in The New Yorker. I'll be watching these over the Christmas break if anyone wants to join. Check it out here.

I See You Black Swan

For You

Okay New York, this is the last time I'm falling for your mass opinion. I couldn't turn a corner, go to work, ride the subway, or look at facebook without people fawning (swaning?) over Natalie Portman. I was convinced I just had to see this right away. It was fun to watch in the theater (in fact I recommend it this way), but you can save this one for a matinee. I disagree with those that say it was creepy - it's a dramatic movie about crazy girls and yes, sometimes things get out of hand. Black Swan is outlandish and if you go in expecting this you'll be surprised but free of nightmares.

I saw Black Swan with a fellow dancer, and she just balled me out for not respecting Natalie Portman's performance. I'll agree to meet in the middle and say that as her role demanded - she was the perfect white swan, but the black one never quite convinced me. I still side with David Denby on this one in saying "Dance lovers will find it so over the top that they are likely to be amused." Which I was. And I think you will be too. Just don't expect the Red Shoes.

For Me

A script that is written by three people is bound to fall short. In fact, help me out on this one - what good movie has a screenplay that has been passed around more than twice? There must be one, although I'm sure it's a lark. You'll save yourself some heartache if you prepare for the terrible dialogue and agree to immerse yourself in spectacle. That's all I think Black Swan was at the end of the day. And by the end, when things really get going (for a whole fifteen minutes), it's the movie's only chance to save itself. Otherwise all the makeout scenes between Natalie and Mila would have to be followed by a cold shower.

I think this is the movie where I discovered Minhola Dargis' achilies heel. All critics have one (me included), and I guess this is one I can politely overlook. Ms. Dargis has been on a crusade for the loss of stellar female roles in the past decade (or at least the decline), and this is a movie about women, starring women, and made for women viewers. The last time that happened was Sex in the City, which doesn't do nearly as much for the "female role" as Black Swan does. I guess I just wish Aronofsky didn't pander to the male audience and turn it into a suspensfull thriller. Throw that to the wind and leave in a makeout scene? Now that's not only cinema - that's European.

(18 Theaters? That's crazy. What's more crazy is that out of eight cities they chose Plano, TX. Joana, what gives?)

What a Name

Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck is the director of the new movie The Tourist - that train wreck of merger with Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. I desparately want to make fun of his name, but he's also the director of The Lives Of Others which I regard to be a "perfect" film.

(It won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film.) Please watch this one if you haven't already.

I'm curious to see what the critics have to say about The Tourist though, which opens Friday...

Black Swan

I'm incredibly worried I'll like this movie more than it's worth due to fifteen years of ballet, my love of Vincent Cassel, and the need to be creeped out by cinema. At least I know I hate the movie poster. Someone please find this one for me.

Hey Ben, was it good?

The Social Network

For You

Did you like "The West Wing?" Did your parents? How about "Dawson's Creek?" Point being - this is a dialog movie. Lots of talking with few (very few) moments of cinematic greatness. The Social Network is serious, and I know we all take facebook seriously, but this is a bit of a stretch. Its a great movie for Moms and Dads, considering they still can't quite figure out where this thing came from in the first place, and I would recommend that all of you see it. It talks about programming, and smart kids, and college. This, as far as I'm concerned, is a good thing. Great even. However, skip the theater. You'll leave underwhelmed and thirteen dollars short.

For Me

James Cameron writes a script with male characters only, then later inserts lady names for one or two. This lends itself to extremely strong and charismatic female roles. Aaron Sorkin did the opposite. He produced a screenplay full of whiny self absorbed women and then replaced them with whiny self absorbed men. Sorry y'all but this is a movie for dudes. Scratch that, boys.

There was another movie that came out the same weekend as The Social Network - Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. As far as I'm concerned Mr. Fincher's version was much more applicable. Aparently nothing seems to have changed in twenty years. The only difference now is that entrepreneurship is the new Wall Street and its just as corrupt, scathing, and disgusting to watch. Men are still obsessed with power and desperate for approval.

Not to be a hypocrite, but the performances were outstanding and the dialog was top notch. Cinematography was utterly watchable (sorry Jacob, but it wasn't beautiful - I hate The Red), the characters were engaging, and I was completely engrossed. But this movie didn't surprise me. Didn't wow me. Or do anything new in cinema that I hadn't already seen before. Have any of you idiots that raved about The Social Network ever seen anything by Mike Leigh? Anything?

Bottom line, I don't think this movie had a point. It was meta - and that's it. I kept asking myself why the marketing team for this film never mentioned that it was a David Fincher film. Now I know why: it sucked.

PS If you don't like my opinions, please refer to the title of this blog.

Heartbreaker

I think the OR Books ladies and I are going to see Heartbreaker soon. The trailer is really silly and cheesy, but you can check out a clip here that redeems the movie just a little bit bit.

I absolutely adore Romain Duris. Check him out in The Beat That My Heart Skipped. Its based on a film called Fingers with Harvey Keitel. This one you can skip. Pun intended.

Die linkshändige Frau

Decided. Watched The Left-handed Woman yesterday at Anthology Film Archives. Its a six o'clock movie.

Hi New York,

Made it. Have a schedule now and getting ready to watch some serious movies. Not serious movies, just serious movie watching. Real progress will begin with whatever film Tomasz and I see when he's here this week. Far more excited about the act of picking at this point. Don't disappoint.

Best,

Crystal

PS Saw Inception. Tomasz and I got into such a heated phone argument he hung up me. Twice. Thanks Mr. Nolan.

I've Already Told You About This

My roomie and savior Claire is Swedish. I like Swedish films. Especially when they're made by Roy Andersson.

Its okay if you don't know whether you should be giggling or not. Life on this big blue marble is a crapshoot, and you can laugh, or you can cry about it.

Check out his commercials too.

New York Has Made Me Smarter

As you can tell by my taste, I am far more refined now that I live in New York.

Running a Lot

I was at a whimsical Austin dinner party last night where one guest brought up Apocalypto. Her only comment was that it had a lot of running in it. It made her want to run five miles a day. Really? Not the fact that it is insanely violent? And brutal? And made by that crazy guy? Nope. Just the running.

New to Me Asian Flicks

Tomasz and I were thinking about watching an Asian film today (how racist) and these were what we came up with:

Chocolate

Don't bother. It's really really really bad, full of montages, and reminded me of a student film. In my defense, this was Tomasz' pick.

Ichi the Killer

I'm embarassed to admit that I haven't seen anything by Takashi Miike. This is definately THE NEXT movie on my list, especially since Suzanne said she dumped a guy for making her watch it. My interest is piqued.

Thirst

I've already seen this one, and it has quickly become one of my new favorites. Romantic in a warped and masochitic way (think Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhal).Thirst is the latest film from Korean director Park Chan-wook, who stole our hearts with operatic tales of revenge in Sympathy for Mr. Vengance, Oldboy (rent this one already), and Lady Vengance. Its a vampire movie, but Thirst concerns itself more with male and female emotional woes. Love is the worst thing to happen to anyone - and I totally agree.

Not Sunny, But Hot as Balls

Tomasz and I were gonna go to Hamilton Pool today, but without the sun, the whole trip looses its luster. Now we're thinkin about a movie date with the roomies. Splice, anyone?

I had no intention of seeing this movie, until I realized two things:

1. My other options are Robin Hood (no way Ridley- I'm not giving you any of my money), Prince of Persia (only at the dollar theater), and Iron Man 2. Let's be honest, its too late for me to see the latter.

2. Manohla Dargis recommended it. Not kidding. That's enough of a reason for me.

(We'll talk about whether or not she is supposed to be sexy and what the hell for later.)

PSA

Remember when your girlfriend made you watch that movie with Drew Barrymore and you knew you were never going to get back those two hours and all you could think about was how to secretly check your cell phone and how funny your facebook status updates are and how leaving the room would make it too obvious that you have far better taste than everyone?

You were Time Raped.

It wasn't your fault, and don't be afraid to talk about it.

Time Rape* belongs to Ben Slamka.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

For You

Overall, I'm glad that the success of this book is getting people to sit through a foreign film. At the theater. If you liked the book, the movie will be a bit of a let down (nothin' new for us book nerds), but there will be some semblance of tension. It's a bit of a ride to see exactly how the director chose to handle the sticky situations. I can't believe I'm saying this, considering how dedicated I am to the cinematic experience, but this one can be watched at home with the same result.

For Me

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is one long episode of "CSI Miami." The musical cues were crazy obvious (and totally laughable), way too much time was spent on emails, and I'm positive that the acting was terrible. The great thing about foreign films is that you USUALLY don't notice this since you're too busy reading and shit. Not the case here. Sorry dudes, but this movie is bad.

At the theater. Credits roll.

Ben: Well I couldn't tell what anyone was saying. Thankfully though that guy really knew how to shoot email. I always knew who was being sent and email, and who was recieving an email. Nice job on the email.

End scene.

Ondine

A movie with Colin Farrell and mermaids. Fuck yea.

Seriously though, I doubt this movie will be all that great, even though it is written and directed by Neil Jordan - who shocked the shit out of us with The Crying Game and made it bearable to watch Tom Cruise again in Interview with a Vampire.

But unfortunately, Mr. Jordan's latest movies The Brave One (Oh, Jodie) and Breakfast on Pluto were a complete fail.

Not to mention that the trailer for Ondine is awful awful awful. It's up to you, but I'll almost definitely see it and let you how much it sucked.

Crash of the Titanics

For You

A hot mess . Perfect for Easter weekend - silly visuals, giant mythic story ideas (which make no sense of course, but aren't required to since they center around Greek Mythology which most people know about two words of), and a little romance. And I mean little. At just under two hours (praise Jesus), Clash of the Titans is worth about ten bucks, but in all honesty its been out three days and is already dated. I promise you. See it now, meaning Sunday is last your chance, or at home with some grass and a bottle of wine. Just all of you promise me you won’t take this movie seriously. I am refusing to talk critically about it without laughing.

For Me

The guy from Avatar? Really? I am I the only one that thinks this is totally ridiculous? I'm supposed to love him, but hate his guts instead. Also, I now know that Greek Mythology is the answer to all writing woes. Why does black demi-god blood raise giant scorpions from the ground? Who cares! We’ll just distract the audience with a venom bite and short skirts on handsome men. And uh-oh, our backdrops are one dimensional paintings. Let’s make this movie 3D (that I now have to call regular movies 2D is making my hair fall out), so no one will be able to notice or focus on anything in particular. It’ll look awesome. And wait, the titans don't really clash with anyone. Its just Ralph Fiennes doing his "Voldemort" for two hours. I'd rather be watching Harry Potter. In fact, I'm watching it right now to make me feel better.

Sherlock Homes and Valkyrie were two movies that were trashy, but offensive to me. They didn’t trust their audience and assumed I was retarded. (Can I still use that word?) I wasn’t pissed off at Clash of the Titans and I am one hundred five million thousand percent sure that its because I have a sore spot for the Sci-Fi Fantasy genre. Listen to me: If you don’t really like period pieces or mythology this movie is going to rob you of two hours of your life. Watch it on TBS this fall for Christ’s sake.

I am putting the original on my queue right this second. Perseus is played by the guy from LA Law!

Barbe Bleue

Barbe Bleue Trailer

Can't wait to see this one in the theater. Its based on a French Fable and directed by my favorite, Catherine Breillat. Other movies of hers to check out:

The Last Mistress

Besides Head-On, this is my favorite film about love and marriage.

Fat Girl

The French title is To My Sister, don't ask me why they changed it for the states. This one is already on Criterion. Vite vite.

Romance

Seasoned film watchers only please. I don't need any hate mail.

Can You Tell I Hate the Oscars?

I found out the winners of this years Academy Awards via text message— working on a film, hanging out in a kitchen, waiting for my lighting cue. Not only did I want Kathryn Bigelow and the Hurt Locker to win everything, I had a systematic answer to why they would.

District 9: Nope. The Oscars went international last year. "Slumdog Millionaire was such a great film. And it was foreign!"

Up: Nope. Sorry y'all. We're still a few years away from giving Best Picture to a cartoon. (Even if it was a perfect one.)

Precious: Nope. Black Oscars just happened in 2002.

Avatar: No way. They can't reward Cameron for making the same movie again. He got his rocks off with Titanic. Boom. Done.

An Education: Nope. It's an actual foreign film, and we all know those are boring.

Blind Side: Sure. The Academy is going to throw away Best Picture on a "small independent" movie. Not happening.

A Serious Man: The Coen Brothers can do no wrong. The Academy can't give an Oscar to them every time they make a film.

Up in the Air: Nope. Too topical. Plus, I can't quite put my finger on the relationship between Clooney and Hollywood. All I know is that the time isn't right yet. (I know he didn't direct or write this one, but anything Mr. Clooney is in, is a Clooney project.)

Inglourious Basterds: No. I'm pretty sure the Academy has been goddamn frightened of Quentin Tarantino ever since they awarded him Best Screenplay for Pulp Fiction in 1994.

The Hurt Locker: The last man standing. It's the best movie made about the Iraq war to date, directed by a woman who has been making films (not always great ones) for over twenty years. Did you catch that? Directed by a woman. Which means it "signifies" something. The Academy couldn't resist.

Can you tell I hate the Oscars? I will admit I'm cartwheeling all over the place considering Ms. Bigelow and my favorite movie won, but it's all too easy to predict. If you want to get a feel for what the best movie of the year was, or better yet, a movie that represents what is happening in cinema at any given time, check out the Palme d'Or or the Golden Bear. In fact, make yourself a list from these awards. And I'm not afraid to smack you around if you don't.

Grey Gardens

Unlike anything I've ever seen. Besides that weird turn of the century footage of men hunting polar bears in the Arctic that Tomasz made me watch at the Gene Siskel Film Center. Or Cremaster. My life has been changed.

So many questions.

Gamorra

For You

A great question to ask at the end of this film is, "Which storyline was your favorite?" There is much to take in with Gomorra—it's a spiderweb of vignettes focusing on the Italian Mafia and how it affects all classes and ages. This is the meat of the film, and it's saying something distinct about Mafia culture. Here in the states we think to ourselves that getting a good education, moving up in the world, daring to keep kids of drugs; all of this can get you ahead in life. Gomorra is saying that even if you do that, the end result is the same—the company that hires you will be run by the mob anyway.

It's risky to think that Gomorra represents the true Italy (this is still a movie, complete with elaborate narratives and suspense), but hiding behind the cinéma vérité lay thought-provoking comments on culture, code of conduct, and class mobility.


For Me

When was the last time you saw a modern Italian film? (I'm not counting Life is Beautiful or Cinema Paradiso. These are a different kind of film, in a genre of their own. Women love them, which creeps me out.) It's great to see something well made, superbly acted, and expertly written come out of Italy.

I am a goddamn mind reader when it comes to plot lines and viewer expectations. Gomorra constantly surprised, caught me off guard, and worked against anything I was waiting for. All the while maintaining a subtle attitude, taking itself seriously, but not manipulating the viewer. If we were manipulated at all with this film, it was in the story surrounding the author of the books that Gomorra is based on. He's in hiding now, apparently after telling too many secret truths that belonged solely to the Mafia. This forces us to think we are watching "true stories," and I'm not falling for it.

Gomorra is a great film, but will lose it's luster upon repeat viewings. It's success lies in it's suspense. The Hurt Locker, my favorite film of 2009, suffers from the same syndrome—after the first time you see it, you're blown away. Moved. Affected. But re-watching, what us film nerdies do best, reveals mistakes, not perfection. If you haven't seen either of these movies, save it for the right occasion. Consider it your virginity.

Gamorrah Trailer

The Hurt Locker Trailer

Dear Video Games

I hate you. Here's why:

Right now I live in a house where the living room is set up for viewing pleasure. Perfect. Only problem is, video games get played way way way too often. I own a Nintendo DS and have been addicted to Tetris and Dr. Mario since before I was born, so I'm with my roommates as a partner in crime. But gaming is an inherently singular experience. This, I like.

I made dinner at the house last night, and as we were eating, Tomasz and I picked something random to watch on Netflix streaming (my new favorite thing in the whole wide world). Yes. We eat dinner at the living room table. Judge away. Stuffing goolash into my face, I kept hearing:

"What is this?"

"She's my favorite character so far."

"Do girls actually say that?"

Kids kept pouring into the room, sitting down, attention grasped. But hey—people were eating—so there's no need to be overly intense.

Having a TV in the living room is never a bad thing, but it should be used to invite conversation, ideas, exploration. A video game only entices the player, leaving the rest of us in the dust. Or worse. As tag-a-longs. Gross.

I prefer capture the flag. Or kickball. Then we all get to play.

Oh, and the movie we were watching (I know you can hardly contain your excitement), was Trust, by the Amazing King of awkward play-like movies, Hal Hartley.

Trust Trailer